The initial post

I am old. (Correction: I am feeling old.) And I am very tired (no correction necessary); yet, I cannot sleep. Why? Feeling old and being tired should be the perfect recipe for a good night's rest. What could keep me from sleep? That's exactly what this blog is about tonight, tomorrow, and hopefully for the next three years.

It seems like yesterday it was a beautiful dream, a goal, a frontier to conquer. Now, it is keeping me up at night; and, at my age, I can't afford to lose any more sleep. So, let's just cut to the heart of it and put it on the page. My sleeplessness tonight (and many others) is caused by my returning to school. You see, I am less than one week away from beginning law school. I will be a 1L. I have dreamed of being a lawyer all of my adult life, and the journey will begin in a few days with my status as a 1L. But, it wasn't an easy road to get here (and who knows what lies ahead). My little town didn't have a law school close by, so I had to move. Actually, my school of choice was located in another state (which will be revealed in time). So, there's a "for sale" sign in the front yard (of a house yet to be sold), the children have been shoo'ed out of the house a few weeks before their college requires, and I have packed up all of my earthly goods and moved to an apartment in another state where I know absolutely no one. (Actually, I realized tonight that I had gone the entire day without speaking a word! You know, when there's no one to talk to, there's really not a lot to say.) I could--and have--talked to the dog and cat, but they are not great conversationalists.

My undergrad is in criminal justice. I worked in a law office for many years. And, most recently, I have taught legal courses at a community college. I am accustomed to teaching 18, 20, and 22 year olds; now I'll be in class with them. I will be their classmate, the antediluvian law student going to law school to pursue this dream of not just "working with" attorneys or teaching "about" the law.

"That's wonderful!" is the typical reply received from friends and acquaintances. "You'll do fine!" is another one. And, thank God for their encouragement; yet, with only a week to go, I am wondering. What was I thinking? Dreaming! At my age! Is this the right decision? What if I fail? Will I ever pay off the student loans? What if the money runs out? Who will want to hire me? Questions, questions, concerns, and more questions. I'm counting questions instead of counting sheep; thus, the lack of sleep.

I learned about blogging while at an educator's conference this spring. I have since started reading some blogs of interest to me and decided it might be something I want to do to memorialize this experience. This is the first posting. For better or worse, there will be more. And I hope you will join me.

Writing has always been cathartic for me; I hope this blog will be just the medicine I need in order to clear my head, and the motivation I need to chart my course and conquer the unknown. Youth and vitality are not on my side; but law school is a marathon, not a sprint, and I am hopeful that I can stay in the race and finish the course. I do not have to win; I just want to finish. It's going to be a long run, so let's get some rest.