Quotes

Here's some quotes that I've been saving for a while. Some will make you laugh; some will make you gasp. Just another day in the life of a law student:

Civil Procedure professor’s comment when distributing mid-term grades…."I didn't give anyone a C- because I didn't want to encourage anyone."

Real property professor’s humble opinion about his real property knowledge, “I know quite a bit, in fact, I know everything."

Contracts professor brought a picture of a child he is sponsoring to class and told us “we have a visitor today.” Then, midway through class, he realized that he had forgotten his UCC book and snapped at the picture, “Abby! Why didn’t you remind me to bring my book!”

Professor: Mr. Smith, why don’t you tell us how you calculated those damages?
Mr. Smith: Do you want me to write it on the board?
Professor: I’ll write it; I don’t think your arms will reach.

Professor: What was the flaw in the appellant’s argument?
Student: Well, clearly, the ….
Professor: Clearly? CLEARLY! Praise be to God in the high heavens! You’re the one we’ve been waiting for! After volumes of cases and centuries of appeals, YOU are the one who can CLEARLY unclog our court system. Someone alert Justice Roberts!

Student: I don't think so.
Class: (silent gasp)
Professor: Don't EVER tell me "I don't think so." You either KNOW SO or you will research and get back to me.

Professor: Mrs. Brown, you’re lead counsel today in Bob’s Ready to Wear v. Weaver.
Mrs. Brown: Sir, I accidentally read tomorrow’s assignment instead of today’s.
Professor: So, you’re not prepared for today’s discussion?
Mrs. Brown: No, sir.
Professor: Well, then, we look forward to seeing you tomorrow. (Translation: you may now leave the classroom.)

Professor (frustrated that vocal minority in class will not agree with his legal philosophy): Well, we’re going to move on to another subject…reasonable minds may follow; unreasonable minds may continue in their ignorance.

Student to Professor: Would you repeat the question?
Professor: No.

Random professor ramblings: I hope you all practice and you all enjoy it. But, if you don't, don't lay carpet for a living. You can make better use of your law degree. (Well, let's hope so.)

Professor: What is the requirement for summary judgment under Rule 54?
Student #1: (no answer)
Professor: You MUST KNOW these rules COLD!
Student #2: Are you referring to Rule 56?
Professor: Oh.