I don't like to sleep alone

Wide awake at three a.m. Sleeping alone tonight for the first time in a while, and, actually, I'm not sleeping at all.

Charlie went to the vet this morning to get spayed and they kept her overnight. I packed a little bag of food for her and took her bed and her favorite toy--the squeaky squirrel. She was very excited about the ride in the truck; the fuzzy tail stopped wagging though when we arrived at the vet's office. Before I could get her checked in, the tail was tucked between her legs, and she was already shaking.

Have you ever seen a grown woman standing in a vet's office carrying a little blue bed, squeaky squirrel, and a bag of food with her dog's name written on it? I wonder how ridiculous I looked, which was only amplified by the tears in my eyes. The picture should be captioned "no wonder this woman can't get a date."

Charlie only sleeps in her bed when I'm away during the day, when I study, work at my desk, or on the long drives home. At night, Charlie sleeps with me. If I take a nap, Charlie is right there as well. Since the first night that she called this place home, she has slept on my pillow, as close to my face as possible (without smothering me), and I take whatever portion of the pillow that is available.

There's no sleep for me tonight. How can I sleep on an entire pillow? How am I supposed to drift off to sleep without the sweet scent of puppy breath? How can I sleep when Charlie is alone and afraid and so far from home? There's no sleep for me tonight, but plenty of time for that tomorrow, when Charlie comes home and I don't have to sleep alone.