The girl inside the woman

There's a girl inside the woman
who's waiting to get free.
She's washed a million dishes;
she's always making tea.

They think she's just a mother
with nothing left inside
who swapped her dreams for drudgery
the day she was a bride.
But the dreams were not forgotten
Just wrapped and packed away
in the hope that she could take them out
and dust them off one day

There's a girl inside the woman
and the mother she became
and half-remembered songs
come to her lips again.

The girl would sing the melody
but the woman stands in doubt
and wonders what the price would be
for letting the young girl out.

--Blood Brothers

A time to work, a time to rest

My GPA dropped this semester from 3.11 to 3.02; this resulted in my class rank dropping from 10 to 12. Fortunately I am still in the top 20% of the class. Of course, I would have rather improved, but I am still happy with my class ranking (and hope that it doesn't slip anymore). I also found out this week that I "booked" Torts, which means that I had the best exam grade. (Those with the best grade get a "book award.") So, in spite of the slight drop, I'm still celebrating (and contemplating how I can do better next year).

I have just completed my first full week of work, and my one-word synopsis of the week's schedule is "exhausting!" I thought that after surviving two semesters in law school, work would be a lot like vacation. Well, in some ways it is not as intensive or demanding. Obviously I do not have to "study" the night before going to work. And my work is not labor intensive. However, the work that I am doing is still mentally challenging, and it requires a great deal of concentration. And, rather than sitting for two to three hours a day (in class), I am concentrating and researching for eight hours a day. Afterward, my mind is fried!

On Wednesdays I spend the day at the Commonwealth Attorney's office. Last Wednesday was my first full day there. My day consisted of reading a lot of material about the different programs offered through the office (e.g., community court, victim/witness assistance, juvenile court, etc.). I also spent a few hours in juvenile court. On Friday I returned to the office to volunteer as an evaluator for community court. Community court is an new, innovative solution to non-violent first offenders. If you'd like to know more about it, here's a link to the Commonwealth Attorney's webpage about community court.


The most significant difference between work and school is that I am (thankfully) getting more sleep. My day starts at about 5:30 a.m. By the time I take care of the pets, do some inspirational reading, and light exercise, it's time to get ready for work. After work I change clothes and do some serious exercising; then it's time for a quick, light dinner. It's typically 7:00 p.m. before I get home for the night. Some nights I have time to read; and some nights I am in bed by 9:00 p.m. My personal goal is to be in bed no later than 11:00 p.m., and I have met that goal most nights this summer.

Have you yawned yet? I know, it's not the most exciting schedule, but I am so thankful for the opportunities I have this summer to hone my research skills, meet attorneys and local bar members through the Commonwealth Attorney's office, and the luxury of having a few hours a day to take care of my physical, mental, and spiritual needs as well. I am also most thankful for the wonderful gift of sleep. It's been approximately one month since exams, and I am finally feeling rested. This morning, even before I put together my thoughts for this blog, I was reminded of the wisdom of Solomon's words, "there is an appointed time for everything." In the first few days of this summer season I have found time to celebrate, time to contemplate, time to read, time to exercise, time to work, and time to rest. And I'm thankful for each of those opportunities.

So much to do, so little time

Today is one of the best days of my summer vacation (to date). Today is the day that I finalized and submitted the Note to the law review write-on competition. What I had hoped would only take two or three days, took the entire week. I do hope that missing a week of work is worth it. For better or worse, though, the Note is submitted and the decision is out of my hands. I obviously would like a seat on law review, but I am going to put it out of my mind so that waiting for the results will not drive me to the brink of insanity.

Today was also a great day because I returned to the Commonwealth Attorney's Office to meet many of the staff, get my ID card, and prepare for my first official day of work next week. I am not sure how many 1Ls interviewed for this internship or how many may have turned it down, but I am quite happy that I was offered this opportunity. The Commonwealth Attorney has hired a few other LU law students and I think he has been pleased with their work; this is quite an accomplishment for such a young school.

I can't recall all of the stuff that they said I'd do this summer, but some of it included days in court (of course), interviewing witnesses and victims, listening to 911 calls for excited utterances or other statements that could be useful at trial, visiting the jail and the juvenile detention center, and drafting briefs and orders. It all sounds so overwhelming, but also very exciting.

Next week I return to the law school to continue researching for the professor. At the present time, my work at the Commonwealth Attorney's office will be one day per week. Starting next week I am also going to devote at least one night per week to the CASA training materials. I would like to complete all of the assignments (in this huge 3" binder) so that will be another monkey off my back.

But before next week, I plan on having a great weekend. I plan on exercising. Oh how I have conveniently ignored that task. It was just too easy to get up in the morning, brew a pot of coffee, and sit at the desk all day...except while grazing in the kitchen. So exercise is going to move up quite a few notches on my priority list.

I also plan to do some reading for pleasure. First, I am going to read a newspaper. Oh, you just don't know how indulgent it is to do something simple like read a newspaper! Then, I am going to start a new book. I was able to read a book while on the cruise, and I'm not sure which was the bigger luxury (i.e., reading a book or taking the cruise). One of the few things that kept me sane during the insanity of spring semester was the "summer book list" that I started. Oh, there are about ten "must read" books on my list, and I hope I can read them all.

One of the more unpleasant chores that I must tackle this weekend is cleaning. I have no idea what critters have taken up residence under my bed, but I hope to have this little abode sparkling by Saturday night.

I'm sure that after you've read about all of the thrilling things I plan on doing with my summer (e.g., exercise, work, read, clean), you are yawning with excitement! But, I have to confess that every one of these things is such a luxury that I can't wait to get started. I hope that your summer plans are just as thrilling to you!

PS: Grades for spring semester are posted, but the class rankings are not. I'll follow up with news as soon as possible.

What's new?

Just a brief note written for two purposes: (1) to catch up on all the newsworthy happens, and (2) to help me postpone the inevitable reading and writing that must be done today. (Thanks for the diversion!)

I have just returned from a week-long cruise to the Bahamas. It was a very nice trip, but the weather was not cooperative. We were not able to dock for two days because of the waves and wind, so we were stuck on the boat in the middle of the ocean. Although there was much to do on the boat, much of it I had already done (shop, visit the spa and fitness center, read a book, etc.). I had been to the Bahamas before, so this trip wasn't as thrilling as the first; it wasn't new, ya know. Next time I cruise, it will be to some place different. I would love to eventually do the Alaskan cruise, Mediterranean cruise, and the cruise around the Hawaiian islands. In spite of the weather, the crew, service, and food was fabulous!

Now that I'm back, it's time to read and write for the law review write-on competition. The "Note" is due on Friday, June 15, so I doubt that I'll be doing anything else for the next few days other than that. Afterward, my summer will officially begin. I have several other projects in the mix for the summer, but this is the most important--and most dreaded. I plan on giving it my all and then letting it go.

That's all the news that newsworthy.

Amazing weight loss story!

I have lost 100 lbs!!! Well, not literally, but it certainly feels like I have. For months I have wrestled with whether or not to transfer to another law school. This decision has involved much investigation, conversation, perspiration, and prayer. My grades are high enough that I could probably transfer to a Tier 1 school (or at least be taken seriously).

Every year, approximately five percent of law students “trickle up” to higher-rated schools. The purpose in transferring lies in the ultimate goal: to get the best job offer possible, and the best firms recruit at the best law schools. Since LU is such a new school, it is not even officially “rated” yet, and it does not have an alumni base; these are two very serious concerns when contemplating future employment for the law school’s graduates. LU is more concerned with getting “any” job offers for its graduates, not just offers from the top firms.

So, in light of these and other concerns, I have been singing the “I’m going to transfer” song for months; but, in spite of my desire to transfer, I did not want to transfer just for the sake of doing so. I did my homework, and picked out three or four prestigious schools that met my criteria. First, I only wanted to move to a school that is ranked in the top 100 (also known as a “Tier 1” school). I also wanted to stay on the east coast—in or near the south. Unlike most law students, I have two children who are also in college, and I felt compelled to only pick schools that would allow me to be near them (i.e., within driving distance). I also wanted to avoid schools in North Carolina. Even though I’m a Tarheel fan, I fear that by returning to a school in North Carolina I would greatly limit my ability to work outside of North Carolina. And, while I love to visit N. C., and I realize a lot can happen in two years, I presently have no plans of returning to the state to work. Finally, I wanted it to be a good financial decision as well in light of the fact that I had a partial scholarship this year (which will likely be a full scholarship for the 2L year based on my class ranking). Transferring could add approximately $40,000 to $80,000 to the ultimate law school debt, and that's a lot of debt!

Finally, there are many things about LU that I like—even though there are policies that drive me crazy. The reality is that there isn’t a perfect school in the perfect location with the perfect faculty and perfectly agreeable policies. And, if I’m looking for this perfect Utopia, I am going to be gravely disappointed when I realize that I’ve only traded one bag of troubles for another. Overall, I like LU. Overall, I like its philosophies. I have spent a year building relationships with my classmates (and the upper classmen). I am part of the best study group ever formulated (or so I believe). The students at this school have integrity and ethical standards that are lacking at many law schools (a fact which isn't often told on the law school's web page). For instance, I have left my laptop, ipod, thumb drive, commercial outlines, etc., at my study carrol for days and weeks, and nothing has ever been touched, moved or stolen. Another example, my colleagues do not hide books from each other; instead, we share the materials. We haven't wanted anyone to fail and we have worked together, corporately, to help those who were working hard but struggling. And, I've finally come to realize that these intangibles are more important to me than the cost of tuition or the ranking of the school.

Most importantly, in analyzing the matrix and criteria for staying or transferring, there is the most important realization that I am not on this journey alone. Law school would not have been possible without the faith and trust that I have placed in God Almighty to lead the way and light the path. He did not bring me to this place to abandon me. In spite of applying to nine different law schools and getting accepted to four, I knew that LU is where I would attend. I knew this before LU ever accepted me, so there must be some reason why I am here in spite of the fact that I do not know what awaits me in two years. I don't suppose that I need to know as long as God does and He's working all of these things out for my good. I do know how important it is to be patient and wait; almost as important as admitting that I’m not in control of any of this, so why don’t I just do my best on a daily basis and let Him handle the rest. Oh, and even though LU isn't even ranked (like I mentioned earlier) almost 70% of our graduates have jobs or job offers, which is pretty impressive for an inaugeral class of graduates from a distinctively conservative law school.

As far as I'm concerned, this decision is final. There is no looking back. Time and energy will not be wasted on one "what if." That being said, the weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I am able to focus on my summer plans. Now if I could drop the same amount of weight from my waistline, that would be fabulous!

Summer "vacation"

Prior to law school, I was an instructor at a local community college, and I became quite accustomed to enjoying summer vacations. Even though I taught classes during summer semester, they were usually online classes that I could attend at my leisure, and the summer was mine. So, what did I do with all of that down time during the summer? Many of you know that I usually returned to the law firm to make some mad money. Some things change; but most remain the same.

It has been less than two weeks since final exams; yet, most of the pain from this year has moved to the recesses of my memory (much like a new mother forgets the pain of labor). I think I have caught up on my sleep, if that is even possible. I have returned to some type of exercise regime--to work off the weight that was added by lattes, cappuccinos, and midnight chili cheese fries with the study group. And I have started the summer job(s).


My primary job is working as a research assistant for a professor at the law school. This will generally be a full-time paid position during the summer. I can work up to 40 hours per week; and, the best news is that most of the time I can work from home.


I am also working as an intern at the Commonwealth Attorney's office two days per week. This is a volunteer position, but it exposes me to members of the local bar, and is great experience for me as I try to determine if I am really interested in pursuing a career as a criminal prosecutor. By the time we complete this summer internship, I should have been exposed to each area of the Commonwealth Attorney's office as well as each step in a trial, including interviews, victim assistance, case management, hearings, trial, etc.


Summer will also include a few days in Minnesota as I visit Westlaw headquarters for training as a Westlaw student representative. This will be a part-time job for me next year as I work on campus as the Westlaw representative. I was very excited to be offered this position with Westlaw. While I am familiar with Westlaw (from my days in the law office), I believe that this position will make me a better researcher, which will also make me more valuable in my position as a research assistant. Then, if I make it on Law Review, the skills that I learn through Westlaw should help with research for the Notes (20-30 page articles) I will be required to write.

Finally, I will be completing a course of independent study in order to become a CASA volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate) . CASA volunteers represent the interests of abused and neglected children in court. I should complete this course during the summer and be ready for my assignments by fall.


Other than these four priorities, I am still struggling with whether to apply for a transfer to another law school. For now, it is a matter of great prayer and informed research. I do not want to transfer just anywhere. If I transfer, I only want to move to a school that is ranked in the top 100. Because of my kids, I also feel compelled to choose a school that is geographically convenient (so, Pepperdine is out). Obviously, there are financial concerns. And I don't want to trade one bag of troubles for another. There are good things at LU that I appreciate; I do not want to sacrifice those just for the sake of change. Finally, I hate moving; so, if I'm going to turn my life upside down again with another move, it must be for something bigger and better on all fronts. I have sought the advice of trusted friends and legal professionals on this issue, and have taken each word of advice to heart. But the time has come to select schools that will fit into this matrix of criteria, and I covet your prayers. Yet, as you can read, so much is falling into place at this law school, I wonder if I already have my answer.


I am looking forward to all of my summer adventures. Sprinkle in a cruise to the Bahamas and several trips home to NC, and the summer "vacation" will be complete.

The 2007 LU graduation experience

Bubbles...beach balls...silly string...photos...beautiful weather...videos..."the wave"...cheers... music...standing ovations...prayer...happy tears...and heavy hearts. Jerry would've been proud.

Proud to be one of Jerry's kids

This day has been marked with shock and sadness. The unthinkable has occurred. The man we thought would outlive us all has failed to do so.

You remember where you were at 9:00 a.m. on September 11, 2001? Absolutely. Well, residents of Lynchburg and students at LU will remember where we were when we heard that Jerry had collapsed. I was running errands with my daughter, Diane, when the announcement was made on the radio that Jerry had collapsed and was reported in "grave condition." It did not sound good. I prayed for the best, but feared the worst. Less than an hour later CNN reported that he had died.

I hope the media is kind to Jerry, but he was a public figure often embroiled in controversy, and that is how they identify with him. After spending a year at the university he built, I came to appreciate the Jerry that the media never knew.

Jerry was a mountain of a man. He was self-deprecating at times, calling himself an "old hillbilly" or "country boy" and believing it to be so. He was an icon on Liberty Mountain. He usually drove a black Escalade, and he would darn near run over you just for the fun of it. Then, he'd stop and offer you a ride. He's transported many a student from one side of campus to another, asking them all kinds of questions about what they like or don't like about the school. He took those conversations to heart and made changes that he felt were warranted. We remember the Jerry Falwell, who was 73 years old, but a kid at heart.

Jerry had a photographic memory. He was a very intelligent man. He was the valedictorian of his high school, but was not allowed to give the speech because of a prank he pulled on a teacher before graduation. That is the Jerry Falwell that we will remember: the man who loved a good laugh.

According to Jerry's own autobiography, he was quite the troublemaker before his conversion; but, from the day he made that decision, his life was never the same. He went to Bible college and then came home to Lynchburg to build a church out of nothing. In the beginning, he knocked on 100 doors a day for six days a week inviting people to church. Less than a year ago he beamed like a little boy at Christmas at the opening of the new sanctuary to celebrate the church's 50th anniversary. He was blunt and opinionated, but he was a pastor, and only his family meant more to him than the calling on his life to preach and reach the world.

The students at LU loved Jerry. Often, at or near the last convocation, they would erupt into "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!" chants and applause. He usually could control the affairs of an entire college campus and mega-church, but he was helpless when the students starting chanting and loving him so. Everyone identified with him on some level, either as a pastor, grandfather, father, friend, etc.

I wish the media could have known this man. I shook his hand. I watched him work. I watched him interact in the community and in the church. What I saw and what I know makes me proud today to be counted as one of Jerry's kids, and very sad as a result of this loss.

II Timothy 4:7-9

Another Day in the Dream

Life is good.
living a dream.
But life has a price.
And so does the dream.
Dreams can be exhausting.
Is it weariness?
Or nostalgia?
That makes me miss my daddy’s smile
Sleeping late on Saturdays
Planting flowers in my own yard
Granny’s chocolate pie
The ocean
My convertible on a starlit night
Being less cynical and jaded
Family forfeited in the divorce
When the kids would hold my hand
The sweet smell of puppy breath
Scrabble
Childhood friends
Simplicity
Another day
Pursuing the dream
Cherishing the moments that brought me here

This is it!

Today is the last day of class for spring semester. I just submitted my final two projects for the semester. Exams begin next week. My classmates and I are just a few short (stressful) days from crossing the threshold from being 1Ls to 2Ls, which--at this point in time--is very hard to believe.

The updates here will be few and far between until exams are completed on May 18. Graduation is May 19, and I hope to be there cheering on all of the friends that I have made in the 3L class. They are truly a special group of pioneers.

Please keep me in your prayers during the coming weeks. Law school exams are brutal, but I know what to expect (after surviving fall exams), and I know that "this too shall pass."

Law Review and Moot Court

As the semester (and year) wind down, the tension mounts. Today we heard from the law review editors about how we can qualify for law review. The good news is that I do not get an automatic invitation. Those invitations are reserved for the top 15% of the class, and I am in the top 20%. While I would hope to move up some in my ranking, a 5% jump would be miraculous, to say the least. So, if I want to pursue a position on law review, I will have to apply via a “write on” campaign where all of the students are given a legal problem for briefing and a short amount of time to research and submit same. This occurs immediately after final exams, so I’ll have to postpone my “summer of vegetation” until after the paper is written. During those few weeks I will probably find myself busy with the “write on” paper...as well as transfer applications to a few other law schools. My goal is to (1) transfer to another school (a higher-ranking school); or, (2) in the alternative, make the most of my experience here. In light of both of those goals, my GPA cannot slip; and, in fact, needs to climb. (Yes, that's a prayer request; make a note of it.)

For the past month we have been researching and writing a summary judgment brief for our “client.” The brief was due about two weeks ago. Then, last week, we argued our brief before a three-judge panel in a wonderful law school rite of passage called “moot court.” On Monday we argued “on brief,” and on Wednesday we argued “off brief.” We were graded in groupings of four based on a random selection process. Those who did the best from their foursome moved on to the semi-final rounds on Friday.

I have admitted to no fewer than all of my friends and the clerk at Kroger’s that Monday was not a good day for me in moot court. I woefully underestimated the amount of preparation it would require; and, when I realized this, my alternate plan was to stick my head in the sand and pretend like it wasn’t happening. My summary of Monday's moot court experience: Ugh! However, once I cleaned up the wounds from Monday, I bounced back on Wednesday and made a stellar appearance in moot court when arguing “off brief” (i.e., the other side’s position).

I’ll spare you anymore suspense and admit that I did not advance to the semi-finals on Friday. For an overachiever like me, that was quite a hard pill to swallow (especially considering the pool of orators who did advance), but I have shouldered the blame and tried to learn from the experience. Well, yesterday we received our score sheets from the moot court rounds on Monday and Wednesday. We were scored based on the following criteria:
Ø effectiveness of opening and closing statements
Ø knowledge of the brief, the record, the authority cited, and the issues/arguments raised
Ø the substantive content of the argument, e.g., order of presentation of points, emphasis of points, and time management
Ø ability to answer questions, to think on our feet, and to resume thread of argument after interruption
Ø ability to speak without notes or w/ unobtrusive notes, use of speaking voice, poise, gestures, mannerisms, and courtroom etiquette

Each judge provided a score as well as a “ranking” for each speaker within the foursome. On Monday (the day that I “bombed”), my rankings were 1-1-4. That means that two judges ranked my argument as the #1 argument of the foursome! While, the remaining judge (who presumably was smoking crack), ranked me as #4.

During “off brief” Wednesday (before a different panel of judges), my rankings were 2-3-3. What! But, I was stellar on Wednesday! In all humility, I rocked! So, why the low rankings? Because, we not only had a different panel of judges, but we were also shuffled into a different foursome; and my foursome on Wednesday had some awesome speakers, one of whom advanced to Friday’s semi-final round.

Even though my rankings were lower on Wednesday, my “scores” were much higher. The scores from Monday were an embarrassing 56, 55.5, and 72 (of 100) (yet somehow I was 1-1-4?). On Wednesday, my scores were much better (83, 64.5, and 70) even though my rankings were lower.

The good news is that all of this means nothing when it comes to the grade for this assignment, which is yet to be posted. The rankings and scores are only used for the moot court competition.

Just thought I’d share a little “minutia” of the typical week of law school. Like I said, we are winding down. There are two more projects in the works—both due next week. Meanwhile, I’m trying to squeeze in an extra hour per day to study for finals. My steady diet now is a double shot of mocha latte for breakfast and as a midnight snack. Try to be in bed by 1:00 a.m. and up by 5:00 a.m. There’s no time to exercise or shop or wash clothes. Those few extra minutes that may materialize during the course of the day are reserved for sleep….and, today, blog therapy.

The exams are coming!

I wish I could convey how busy it has been for the past few weeks. Last week, we had a summary judgment brief due (which constitutes 25% of our final grade); it was the culmination of about four weeks' worth of work (in addition to our regular studies). This week, we had mandatory moot court competitions (in addition to our regular studies). Friday night and Saturday we had a mandatory conference to attend. Heap on top of that the massacre at Virginia Tech, a neighboring university, and the increased police presence on our campus, and it’s been for an emotionally, physically, and mentally draining week. And, just in case there are any thoughts of “catching my breath” or “taking a break,” I am reminded that exams begin in two weeks. That being said, this will probably be my last entry until exams are completed on May 18. But, if you’re reading this before May 18, please say a prayer for me. I want to make good use of my time, I do not want to be distracted or translate into "meltdown mode," I want to digest the plethora of concepts that we’ve covered in sixteen weeks, and I want to do my best on the exams. Your prayers and support are appreciated.

The Summer

Here's a quick update on my summer plans. Friends, less than a week ago I was in despair about what to do this summer. Everyday a few more classmates would come in with their "big news" about an internship or other excellent offer that they'd received, and there I sat with "no comment" when asked about my summer plans. It's April, we're six weeks away from summer internship time, and I had nothing! Well, not absolutely nothing, I still had several options that would have made for a good summer experience, but I had no nibbles on the internship applications that I had submitted.

I had responded to about 20 different offers for summer interns. Some of these were at prestigious law firms, and others were at small local firms. I applied for summer internships at various non-profits, at the White House, at the U.S. Department of Justice (in D.C., Reno, and Dallas), and at various state attorney's offices in Virginia and North Carolina. I had received a few responses; but, no offers. So, my summer plans were completely up in the air and out of my control. Now, for those of you who know me well (or even "at all"), you know that the fact that I didn't know where I would be in six short weeks was enough to drive me insane! I thought about it while studying, while sitting in class, while careening through traffic, while brushing my teeth, etc. But, rather than jump off Candler's Mountain, I surveyed my options and came up with three options that would work even if nothing else panned out.

1. I could stay in Lynchburg and volunteer at the public defender's office. This would be a new experience for me and would expose me to a lot of the local bar, the courtroom, etc.; unfortunately, it would not help pay any bills because it would truly be "volunteer."

2. I could go to NC and volunteer at my old firm. That is always an option that I enjoy because I get to work with people I know and love. I am very comfortable with the firm and the area of insurance defense. However, I just don't know if my boss would have let me "volunteer." He has always been so generous with me, I think he would have felt compelled to pay me, and I did not want to put him in that uncomfortable position. Also, I felt it was important to "build" my resume with other experiences and that it may look like I'm not willing to grow if I keep returning to my old employer at every break from school.

3. The final--and most expensive--option was to study abroad. I truly do want to study abroad, and I believe that this is the best summer to do it. I had already talked with the dean and had the paperwork ready to submit to him for approval so that I could participate in the University of Miami law school's study abroad program in the Mediterranean. Over the course of 59 days we would tour and study in three countries--Greece, Italy, and Spain. But for the cost, this was the most exciting offer. Included in the cost of $140 per day was tuition, accommodations, meals, and all travel except airfare.

The deadline for guaranteeing a seat in the Miami program was March 31, so I knew that I had to get busy on that option if it was going to happen. I came to school on April 2 with all of the paperwork necessary for the dean's approval of this study abroad program (which I would have to submit with my application). I had decided that it would be the Mediterranean for the summer, and I would just have to forget about the cost. On a whim, though, on that very morning I e-mailed a professor about whether he'd be needing a summer research assistant. For some odd reason, I hadn't even thought about this option. I knew it was a long shot (because many professors had already secured their summer help), but I didn't want to leave any stone unturned before committing to the study abroad program. Within less than a hour, he responded and said "yes," he needed a research assistant, and he wanted to talk to me. After class I met with him and he hired me on the spot! I was so thrilled, I could have hugged or kissed him! (Instead, though, we shook hands.)

This professor really likes to write law review articles and other scholarly stuff, so I will be helping him with researching and drafting those materials. I will be working 20-40 hours per week. I can work from home most of the time. I do envision myself with the laptop beside the pool, but that's probably more fantasy than reality. His only requirement for hiring me is that I commit to working for him during my 2L and 3L years so that he does not have to retrain someone every summer. Obviously, I agreed to do so. I think that this will be a great learning experience for me because this professor is a research guru, and I can learn so much from his expertise. He graduated at the top of his class from law school. He worked for an outrageous salary at a DC firm for five years doing nothing but research; then he moved to the U.S. Department of Justice where he worked for an additional 15 years. He has an impressive background, and I am looking forward to working with him and facing this new challenge.

So, my summer plans are now complete. I will not make a fortune, but I will not be strictly a volunteer; neither will I be spending a fortune on travel. I will be able to take trips home for extended weekends, and I will have an impressive 1L summer experience.

That's all the news for now...until I find something new to "obsess" over. I'm sure something will come up; I'll keep you posted.

The house is sold

The house is sold. After one year on the market, two offers, and numerous showings, it is sold. And, with those words, it is hard to describe how it makes me feel. The automatic reaction is “Hooray! Fabulous! Great!” But, this house was more than a place to live. It was the place I called home for most of my life. And, as relieved as I am to be released from its obligations, I am also sad that it had to be sold.

My parents purchased this house in 1974 right before my dad retired from the Air Force. This was the first house that we owned that did not have wheels! (Seriously!) Until then, my family would move from place to place across America, and we would take our house along with us. We lived in North Carolina (obviously), South Carolina, Michigan, and Arizona—all before I was 10 years old—and that house went with us on every leg of the journey.

A few years after returning from Arizona, dad decided that it was time to retire, and we moved from the mobile home to the brick home on Norwood Avenue. I was almost 12 years old at the time. The street was sprinkled with a few houses; ours was the newest addition to the neighborhood. We were the first family to live in this house; and, until now, we were the only family to live in it.

In 1974 the road in front of our house was dirt. I loved to ride my bike up and down the road and kick up the dust. Eventually I obtained my driver’s license and learned to kick up a lot more dust with my first car.

Through the years, my dad and mom divorced. Dad moved to Tennessee. Mom stayed in the house. By the time I turned 18 the dirt road was paved. I moved in with a few friends (into another house with wheels); but, when my dad died of cancer in 1982, he left his portion of the house to me. When I was engaged in 1984, I moved back into the house to save money for the wedding. Ironically, my mom remarried about six months after my wedding in 1985. She moved in with her new husband, and my husband and I made Norwood Avenue our home.

Children were born a few years later. Melissa arrived on Valentine’s Day, 1987; and Wesley followed shortly thereafter in September 1988. My kids grew up in this house. They crawled, walked, and ran through its halls. They slammed doors and blasted music through the windows. They graduated from bassinet to crib to bed within the same four walls. They played in the same backyard for 18 years and shared the same neighborhood with their friends and foes during that time. We filled the back yard with a swimming pool, a fire pit, a slip and slide, a basketball goal, a toss back, a barn, and various pets, including Precious, Snickers, Sam, Abby, Boots, Patches, and Chester. We rescued birds. We watched bunnies play in the yard at night. We played h-o-r-s-e a million or more times when the weather would permit, and chess when the weather would not. We had dozens of birthday parties and slumber parties and movie nights.

The kids learned the freedom of riding their bikes around the neighborhood (just as I had) and the ultimate freedom of driving their own cars. By the time Wes got his driver’s license, our front yard was looking like a used car lot. We just kept growing and changing, and the house kept accommodating us. My husband and I divorced in 2003, and Melissa left for college in August 2005. Wes and I spent a final year in the neighborhood while we made plans to leave as well. Wes would be heading to college in August 2006, and I made plans to attend law school then as well.

I remember the day that I knew I had to tell my neighbor of 33 years (Carol) that we were moving and selling the house. It was easier to tell folks of the divorce than to break this news. We stood in her backyard and cried crocodile tears. She and I had come into possession of our homes in much the same way. Her parents had owned her home and she grew up there, just as my parents had owned my home when I was younger. We had watched each other marry, divorce, and raise children. We had mowed each other’s lawns. We could call each other in the dead of night when we were scared of a storm or we heard something that just was not right. She had a key to my house and was welcome to enter it at anytime. We could spend endless hours at the fence just catching up; and if I ever needed an egg, flour, sugar, or milk, I knew I could get it from Carol much quicker than I could from the store.

August 2006 we rolled out of the neighborhood. Wes headed to Wilmington, and I headed to Virginia. I have been to the house on each of my visits to North Carolina and I have visited Carol on many of those trips to Norwood Avenue. As elated as I am that I do not have a mortgage payment anymore, it does seem unusual to know that I am no longer a part of that neighborhood. But, what wonderful pages we wrote while living there. My kids and I can testify that it was a wonderful place to grow up, and it will always hold a special place in my heart, even though it is now sold.

Spring Break

Pardon the interruption, but I took a few weeks off for spring break. Classes officially resumed today, and spring break is just a fond memory. Before I tell you about my favorite things from spring break, let me tell you what I did not do:

1. I did not study. I did not crack a book.

2. I did not update my outlines. I did not look at my outlines. I did not say the word "outline."

3. I did not work on any projects. Yes, there are projects due (and soon), but I did not burden myself with these matters.

4. I did not read ahead. I prepared for Monday's class, and that was it.

5. I did not spend an inordinate amount of time in the library. I tried, but I just couldn't. I had the best of intentions, but absolutely no motivation. So, my library visit consisted of one afternoon where I opened the books and computer and then proceeded to waste away four hours of my life looking busy in the library. I decided that I could look just as busy at home in my pajamas and forego the trip to the library.

Whether I'll regret all of the things that I didn't do on spring break is yet to be seen. I can testify, however, that (so far) I do not regret the things that I did do on spring break. Let me tell you about my favorites:

5. Cooking.
I was able to get in the kitchen and whip up some country fried dinners that would make any southern woman proud. There were mashed potatoes, fresh green beans, and cubed steak with gravy; there was fried chicken; chicken pastry; and veggie soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. The cooking was better than any therapy session. I haven’t cooked in a while, and it was good to put something together that didn’t include curbside service, delivery, or a microwave.

4 Surprises!
I love surprising folks with a visit. Not many folks knew that I was coming home to NC for a brief visit, so I was able to surprise quite a few friends. My first surprise was when I popped in on my friend Phyllis. She had no idea that I was coming into town and it was a lot of fun driving up in her front yard and watching her run out of the house! The next surprise was Friday morning as I was leaving town. I stopped by Don Clark’s office and spent a few minutes exchanging law school stories with him. Then I stopped by the firm and got a few hugs from Bob, Shannon, Kathy, Jeff, and Karen. Bob always chokes me up because he starts every conversation with “You know we’re proud of you.” Just getting a few hugs from these folks was enough to choke me up. I had to make that visit a quick one or else I would have been an emotional wreck!

3. Going home.
I always enjoy a quick visit to North Carolina. I like to make the trips quick and pack as much as possible into them. This trip home was less than 24 hours, but I managed to get my money’s worth out of every minute. I visited my hairdresser, dentist, mechanic, and favorite bakery. I then took my mom to dinner and visited with Wes. I also squeezed in breakfast and lunch with friends. Twenty-four hours wasn't enough time to visit everyone--and I regret that--but I did squeeze as much as possible into the quickest of trips.

2. Exercise.
I really do enjoy exercise when I have the time to do it right. But, when my schedule is packed to the max, exercise is the first casualty. The weather during spring break was fabulous! And, once I recuperated a few days, I was ready to go walking and biking and hiking. It was a lot of fun to spend the afternoon in the park or just walking through the neighborhood with Melissa and Abby (the pooch).

1. Sweet Sleep.
I went to bed early and slept late. I took a nap most days; and, some days, I took two. It took at least three days for the throbbing to subside and for me to feel human again. The first three days of spring break had to be the equivalent of law school detox. But, afterward, the sleep was the most luxurious and decedent part of spring break. I’m gonna miss it.

A day in the life

Spring break officially arrived Friday at 2:00 p.m. By 6:00 p.m. I was home and in my pajamas. Some part of me certainly wanted to go out and celebrate, but the remainder of my body, mind, and spirit overruled that request, and the celebration was confined to the couch.

I did have big plans for Saturday, which included exploring some local walking trails and updating the contracts outline. The trails were never explored; instead, I walked a few miles around the track, and that took all of the energy that I could muster. The contracts outline stayed in my briefcase (the thought of studying made me nauseous). Most of the day I stayed in my pajamas. I moved from couch to bed watching basketball and movies. I was so tired. It was the kind of “tired” that you feel when you have the flu; you know, every cell of your body and brain is spent.

I can imagine that people tire of hearing me say “I’m tired,” especially those who aren’t present in the day-to-day of this law school boot camp lifestyle. “I’m tired” is usually just a blanket statement to cover all of the finite details of the days preceding. But, to be more specific, let me infuse a few details into this statement so that—possibly—it can be appreciated. During the course of a week, I attend 15 hours of class in the following subjects: Property, Law Skills, Contracts, Torts, Foundations of Law, and Civil Procedure. Except for Foundations and Law Skills, the remaining four topics will be part of the bar exam that I will ultimately take (and hopefully pass), so a firm grasp of each of these topics as they are addressed day-to-day on an incremental basis is essential.

Every night in each of these classes there are reading assignments. We must read, outline, note, comprehend, compare, analyze, and synthesize the material. On a good night, the gods may smile upon us, and we can be prepared in an hour for the next day’s reading. If that is true, be prepared because that means we are going to spend a lot of time in class comparing and analyzing this reading with prior materials. On a bad night, we may spend three or four hours reading for one subject, which is what I had to do Monday night in preparation for Tuesday’s Torts class. It literally took me almost four hours to complete the reading. Earlier in the day I could hear grumblings in the library from fellow classmates about the enormous reading assignment for the Torts class. It was a tremendous amount of reading, especially in light of the fact that we were also trying to prepare for a mid-term exam in Foundations class (where I had a 75-page outline to review).

So, you might say, why don’t you just skim? That would be about as effective as skimming the instructions on how to build a nuclear reactor.

Or, just pick out what you think is important? I’ve been more successful at picking lottery numbers.

Or, surely the professor can’t cover all of that material the next day? Yes, he can; and, history verifies, he will. Either be prepared, be absent, or be humiliated.

So, four hours to prepare for Torts.

Then we had to read about 40 pages in Law Skills and prepare a burnt offering (a/k/a assignment). Every assignment is graded. If there are typographical or grammatical errors, the grade drops 10%; if it is late, the grade drops 10%; if it is not a “good faith effort,” the grade drops 10%. Monday night, Law Skills was relatively straightforward; it took me about two hours to complete the reading, then complete the assignment, then print, proof, correct, edit, and reprint the assignment.

Then I had to prepare for Contracts. Contracts is typically the class that requires the most preparation. There is reading in the casebook, which often refers to the UCC and Restatements of Contracts. In addition, our professor posts 15-30 questions every night that he will address the next day in class. So, you outline the casebook, brief the cases, insert the UCC and Restatement language into your notes, including the relevant notes and comments at the end of each one, and then attack his questions. If I must skip anything, it is the questions because they, alone, will take hours to complete. Usually I will peruse his questions just to ensure that I have an idea of what he’s looking for, but Contracts could be a full-time job but for the fact I have five other subjects to study. So, Monday night, I spent about three hours preparing for class.

On Mondays we are out of class by 2:00 p.m. Usually I grab a quick lunch at the cafeteria and then head over to the library to prepare for the next day. By the time that I had prepped for Tuesday's classes, it was almost 10:00 p.m. That’s when I pulled out my Foundations outline and began studying for the mid-term that was a mere three days away. This took me until midnight, when the library closed. I headed home and had to wash a load of clothes before going to bed.

I was in bed before 1:00 a.m. and up at 5:30 a.m. on Tuesday to go to the gym for a quick “wake me up” workout. This gave me enough time to get to school about 20 minutes before class so that I could review my Torts notes before class started at 8:00 a.m. And this was the schedule that I had for the entire week. Get up at 5:30; leave home around 7:30; get home around midnight. Five days of that can wear a body out! And, I know from personal experience, of course; but I also see my younger classmates dragging their tail feathers too.

Even still, so much was NOT accomplished last week. I did not update my outlines in any class. I spent all of my time just preparing for the next day and preparing for the mid-term. I did not have time to use any of the commercial materials to reiterate class discussions or case briefs. I did not have time to meet with a professor to answer questions about confusing areas. Consequently, I did not have time to look for a summer job or a summer study abroad program. Basically, the day-to-day routine was just to keep my head above water and forget how tired I was from treading water.

Today is Sunday, and I am still tired; that amazes me. For the past two days I have avoided the alarm clock and just let my body sleep until it was ready to wake up, hoping that would help. I’m sure it has, but I still don’t feel like I’m at 100%. Nevertheless, there is much to do during spring break. This break is like a gift (of “time,” which ranks right up there with “air”), so I’ve got to appreciate its worth and let my body catch up when it can. If I’m lucky, I will only work about 12 hours a day; as you can see, that would be a luxury.

This ain't pretty...

Today is one of those days when I just want to quit. Yesterday I wanted to quit too. Actually, this entire week has just snowballed, careening out of control, and crashed into a Friday night when I am thinking about doing anything else on earth except law school.

Here's a thought: Bartending school only takes three weeks, instead of three years; you only work nights; and everybody loves you!

The other option is to spend the rest of the student loan on the Harley Davidson of my dreams, gas it up, point it west, and drive.

Quitting is a real possibility. The best thing about quitting is that it takes so little effort. There are no sleepless nights, no research, no drafting, editing or proofreading involved. Quitting is so sweet because all it requires is nothing. And, while you’re doing nothing, you can also do other things, like watch a ballgame, take a walk, talk on the phone, or sleep. Quitting means you get to be normal again; and normal sounds like a great place to be.

Sleep would be nice. Casual reading would be a luxury. Tonight I temporarily quit being a law student and just vegetated on the couch for a few hours watching mindless tv sitcoms. Now, I feel guilty because I really haven’t quit, and all I did was waste valuable time that cannot be redeemed. Hmmm...guilt may be a side effect of quitting that will need an anecdote.

I find myself envying my classmates who quit. They come by to give us a hug and say, "This is my last day." On the inside I am screaming, "Take me with you!" How brave of them to know that it’s time to quit, and do so. The body, mind, and spirit can only take so much; we all have our limits. I just feel like I have reached mine. The optimist will say, "oh, next week will be better." But, the truth is, all of the optimists looked at the unbelievably demanding syllabi for this semester's classes, and they quit. Now, the pessimists remain to see who can survive ten more weeks of the 1L year briefing dozens of cases per week, preparing motions and briefs, and outlining for class. The sky is not falling, but in the ten weeks that remain, the cold truth is there is no respite. So, do we wait for the official crash and burn (news at 11)? Or do we just quit and cut our losses? Either way, it ain’t pretty.

Quotes

Here's some quotes that I've been saving for a while. Some will make you laugh; some will make you gasp. Just another day in the life of a law student:

Civil Procedure professor’s comment when distributing mid-term grades…."I didn't give anyone a C- because I didn't want to encourage anyone."

Real property professor’s humble opinion about his real property knowledge, “I know quite a bit, in fact, I know everything."

Contracts professor brought a picture of a child he is sponsoring to class and told us “we have a visitor today.” Then, midway through class, he realized that he had forgotten his UCC book and snapped at the picture, “Abby! Why didn’t you remind me to bring my book!”

Professor: Mr. Smith, why don’t you tell us how you calculated those damages?
Mr. Smith: Do you want me to write it on the board?
Professor: I’ll write it; I don’t think your arms will reach.

Professor: What was the flaw in the appellant’s argument?
Student: Well, clearly, the ….
Professor: Clearly? CLEARLY! Praise be to God in the high heavens! You’re the one we’ve been waiting for! After volumes of cases and centuries of appeals, YOU are the one who can CLEARLY unclog our court system. Someone alert Justice Roberts!

Student: I don't think so.
Class: (silent gasp)
Professor: Don't EVER tell me "I don't think so." You either KNOW SO or you will research and get back to me.

Professor: Mrs. Brown, you’re lead counsel today in Bob’s Ready to Wear v. Weaver.
Mrs. Brown: Sir, I accidentally read tomorrow’s assignment instead of today’s.
Professor: So, you’re not prepared for today’s discussion?
Mrs. Brown: No, sir.
Professor: Well, then, we look forward to seeing you tomorrow. (Translation: you may now leave the classroom.)

Professor (frustrated that vocal minority in class will not agree with his legal philosophy): Well, we’re going to move on to another subject…reasonable minds may follow; unreasonable minds may continue in their ignorance.

Student to Professor: Would you repeat the question?
Professor: No.

Random professor ramblings: I hope you all practice and you all enjoy it. But, if you don't, don't lay carpet for a living. You can make better use of your law degree. (Well, let's hope so.)

Professor: What is the requirement for summary judgment under Rule 54?
Student #1: (no answer)
Professor: You MUST KNOW these rules COLD!
Student #2: Are you referring to Rule 56?
Professor: Oh.

I decided to stay

Whew! I have finally unpacked!

From a weekend getaway?
In your dreams!

From Christmas break?
No; that was weeks ago.

From a recent move?
Not yet!

So, what other reason could have me unpacking? If only I could afford a psychiatric visit, I’m sure this story would reveal volumes about me. Lacking the funds to do so, I’ll just the pass the story on to you.

When I moved to Lynchburg in July 2006 I packed up the entire house (or what was left of it after the yard sale), and moved into an apartment. After my family helped me unload furniture, they left for North Carolina, and I faced the task of unpacking about 500 boxes of stuff (or so it seemed). I unpacked for days–in between emotional outbursts of "what am I doing?"–tackling a room at a time; and, after almost a week, I was settled.....except

There were four boxes that I just couldn’t find the time or energy to unpack. They were important, but they were not priorities. At first I avoided them because I was just so sick of the chore of unpacking. They were moved to my bedroom and stacked away in a corner. Then classes started and–as all 1Ls will testify–there is no time for such trivial tasks as "unpacking" during the fall semester. So, the boxes continued to sit there. Occasionally I would need something from one of the boxes. Their contents were varied....one had framed photos from my home and office, one had a lot of important paperwork--like tax returns and financial documents--another had some memorabilia from my office, and the final one just was a collection of anything that could fit in the box.

I vowed that I’d empty those boxes during fall break, but that didn’t happen. I also managed to avoid the boxes during Christmas break. Much of the time I could just ignore the boxes. But, since returning to school for the spring semester, it has been my mission to unpack those four boxes. And, finally, this weekend, I completed the task. They were just cardboard boxes, but they had so much of my life in them. Digging into the boxes I found movie ticket stubs, playbills, check registers, journals, diplomas and certificates.

I made a deal with myself (and the boxes) that I only had time this weekend to unpack one; and the deal was that I’d unpack a box every weekend until the task was done. But, once I unpacked the first, I couldn’t help but turn to the second, and so on. By midnight, all of the boxes were unpacked and their contents had found their new home.

If you ever visit me in Lynchburg you will notice that there are no wall hangings in my home. Some pictures are set around the wall, but I’ve never hung them. I think that the fact I can’t bring myself to hang a picture is the same reason why I couldn’t unpack the boxes. My unofficial non-psychiatric evaluation of my own motives is that I didn’t know if I’d be staying, and I wanted to keep a part of me in "moving mode" for a while. Unpacking those boxes this weekend–and unpacking "all" of them–made me finally feel like this is home (absolutely and unequivocally). If you’re not transient and you’re not moving, why do you need your stuff boxed up, right? The boxes have been placed in the recycle bin; and the revelation of the empty boxes is that I am officially unpacked, and I’ve decided to stay for a while. I s'pose I should hang those pictures next weekend...

My how things have changed!

We’re two weeks into the new semester, which is synonymous with being half way through Space Mountain–lights out, hands in the air, being propelled up, down and around, all while screaming at the top of your lungs. But for the screaming, that’s a pretty good comparison. And, while there’s no screaming in law school (especially in or near the law library), I promise there is plenty of screaming at the appropriate time and places!

I do not feel like the same person who survived the fall semester. So much seems to have changed. The most striking change is the number of classmates who did not return for spring semester. Our class lost five. Some quit. Some moved on to other programs. And some could not return because of poor grades. Whatever their stories or reasons for not returning, we spent a semester together in some of the harshest educational conditions imaginable. I wish them well.

Another change this semester has been my "plan of action." This was my solemn promise to the good Lord that IF He would grant me the honor of returning, I would have a different (and better) game plan–and I do. For one thing, I now know how to attack the homework assignments. I also know how important it is to redeem those 15 and 20 minute breaks that you have during the day. (Tremendous feats can be accomplished in 15 minutes!) What can’t be accomplished during breaks is attacked immediately after class, and I am usually done with homework by 7:00 p.m. (if I don’t stop for dinner). Afterward, I hit the track or treadmill (for a two-mile walk) and then crash for the evening. (On average, I'm sleeping about six hours per night, which is wonderful!) That’s the typical schedule during the week. I have dedicated every Friday night to preparing for Monday’s classes (rather than waiting until Sunday night). I also have dedicated all of my Saturdays to "review time." I will spend at least twelve hours on Saturdays updating my notes and outlines, reviewing the past week’s materials, perhaps taking a few practice questions from Gilbert’s (a study aid), or flipping through some flash cards. Saturday night and Sunday are mostly for pleasure and relaxation, except I do spend an hour listening to some instructional podcasts on Sunday night (just to get me prepped for the new week).

My "plan of action" has also included a tremendous change in my daily schedule, e.g., no nap--unless absolutely necessary (like last week when I had a cold); in addition, very few phone calls! And ohmygoodness! has that been difficult! But, I have found that it really works best for me to reserve phone calls for the weekend. Otherwise, I start making calls and I can’t stop! And you know that those calls can go on for hours! Meanwhile, no one else is doing my homework! So, I’ve been very disciplined and discreet in calling (and even e-mailing), and I can tell such a big difference. It seems that I have so many more hours in the day–I guess because literally I do! Certainly this does not mean that I do not want to receive calls or e-mails. (Believe me, if I can’t talk, you’ll get voice mail.) The phone calls and e-mails were not the problem; I was the problem. I finally realized that it did no good to get on the phone and whine for an hour about how much homework I had to do. Sure, my friends were sympathetic, but when we ended our conversation, I still had just as much homework staring me in the face. The new plan is "do your homework and quit whining about it."

I think my level of confidence has changed as well. I feel better about the answers I provide in class. I feel better about my comprehension of the material. And, even if I don’t understand (which happens at least daily), I know that at least 75% of the class is right there with me. Exam grades were quite the confidence booster, and I am trying to ride that wave as long as possible.
Finally, my status has changed; I now have "rank." I know that I have to protect my rank in class. I also know that I can improve my rank. With this change in status I have realized that all of these other changes are absolutely necessary if I intend to improve. So, things have definitely changed. Or, perhaps, "things" are the same, but I have definitely changed, and change is good.